Child friendly attractions and stain removal

Although Jack-Jack still isn't walking he's extremely active and mobile, crawling at the speed of light in every direction, standing up and walking holding onto furniture/hands and wanting to investigate absolutely everything. Andy is walking, but is still a bit wobbly and can't walk very far yet. We're always on the lookout for new places to go where they can safely let off steam and have lots to investigate, but which doesn't require children to be able to walk (or not to put things in their mouths, which rules out things like petting farms at the moment as Jack-Jack doesn't want to stay in the buggy or carrier!)

We've been to two local museums lately, neither of which are specifically designed for children, but the experiences at each were so different! At the first, an employee rushed over to help us, told us where to leave our buggy and looked really pleased that we'd brought young children with us. Many of the exhibits were low down and the floors were clean, so we were very happy for Jack-Jack to crawl around and discover everything with us - there were doors at the entrance to each room so we knew he couldn't get out. He absolutely loved it. At the second museum, we struggled in with the buggy and had to find somewhere to put it, whilst being frowned at by staff and visitors when the boys made a bit of noise. The whole museum was open plan (including the staircases) so we had to be on our guard at all times, chasing them around trying to keep them both safe and in view - it must have felt to them like we were spoiling their fun and Andy particularly got quite frustrated that he couldn't go wherever he wanted. Many of the exhibits were high up so we had to lift the boys up to see anything - from their level it must have looked quite boring. The whole experience was quite stressful and we didn't stay long. We'll definitely go back to the first museum on a regular basis, but I think we'll think twice before attempting the second with young toddlers again! It was an interesting attraction for adults and older children, but it's amazing how just a few little changes could really widen the target age range considerably.

I've spent the last week trying various methods to get a large unidentified stain out of the front of one of the t-shirts that Jack-Jack's mum bought him. He came back from contact with food down his front as his mum had chosen not to put a bib on him, and I'm now stuck between a rock and a hard place, because if I send him to contact in a stained top it will all be my fault and I've stained it on purpose, but if I send him in a different top it's a personal attack on mum and I'm saying the clothes she's bought him aren't good enough. It's almost funny, I've bought a specialised stain devils product as a last ditch attempt to remove the stain, which cost about the same as a new t-shirt. If we had a local branch of the shop the t-shirt came from, I would probably have gone out and bought an identical one to save any hassle!

Fairness

We have a new challenge in our lives with two little ones to look after - keeping everything fair. We're not sure whether the children actually have a sense of "fairness" yet - probably not - but as adults we do. We want to make sure we mix it up so that one child isn't always last, (except in the double buggy - we've chosen the seating arrangement specifically as one child is much more likely to kick the other in the back), and that neither child feels like they're going without - so everything must be offered to both, even though one child would happily eat all day and the other only has a tiny appetite!

Meals now don't end until everyone has finished, which means the youngest (and fastest eating) member of the family who has been used to deciding when dinner is over tends to spend the remainder of his time smooshing his leftovers into the corners of his highchair tray and sweeping them onto the floor whilst wailing at the injustice and being outraged that he's not allowed to grab his favourite foods off someone else's plate.

The more time they spend together, the better they are getting at sitting near each other and playing without Jack-Jack feeling like he absolutely has to grab Andy's nose. They're not yet of an age where they can play together and share, but we had a lovely moment in the swimming pool today where they were throwing a ball back and forth with lots of encouragement from us. They do seem to be starting to enjoy each other's company and are genuinely pleased to see each other when Andy is dropped off, or when they wake up from naps. I think Jack-Jack has been generally relaxed about the whole thing overall - the only exception being when Esmeralda was feeding both boys yoghurt, and Jack-Jack looked absolutely horrified every time the spoon went anywhere near Andy's mouth instead of his!

Esmeralda takes the helm

I went on a local authority training course for foster carers today, so Esmeralda was left in charge of our "ship". She's never looked after Jack-Jack on her own as I'm the primary carer whilst she works full time, and as if that wasn't enough extra responsibility, Andy was also due for a visit today! We worked out the times and realised that Jack-Jack would have left for contact before Andy arrived, and I would be back from my course before Jack-Jack got home, so Esmeralda wouldn't have to worry about caring for both toddlers at once.

As I walked into the training room I received a text: "Contact on." Excellent.

A couple of hours later and we'd just stopped for a tea break when I recieved another text from Esmeralda. "Change of plan - contact cancelled." I could feel the slight tone of panic emanating out of the phone, but sent an encouraging text back.

As it was, Jack-Jack went down for a nap just before Andy arrived and slept for an hour, and Andy went down for a nap straight away, slept for nearly 2.5 hours and was woken by me ringing the doorbell when I came home so Esmeralda was spared looking after two (awake) toddlers on her own. We played all together until Andy was picked up.

When Jack-Jack was in bed, Esmeralda looked around at the boxes of toys strewn across the living room, then looked at me and said "So... you went out for the day, both babies are still alive and the house is still standing. Are you proud?" I really am!

Getting to know you

We met Andy for the first time yesterday, along with his main carer and social worker, and with Jack-Jack and our social worker Jane here too it made for quite a cosy living room! We talked through Andy's daily routine and the requirements for his contact sessions, and also planned in regular visits for the next couple of weeks so that he can spend more and more time with us - eat meals here, have a nap in his new cot, sleep overnight etc. all working up to the day he moves in with us. It's useful for us too so that we can get to know Andy, how he behaves in different situations, what he likes etc. and can ask his carer any questions before she goes away. For Jack-Jack these visits will be a bit of a steep learning curve as he'll have to share our time and attention for the first time!

When Jack-Jack and Andy met unfortunately neither of them was very impressed at all and they both burst into tears! Andy came again today with his carer and it was a little better, although Jack-Jack is fascinated by Andy's face and just wants to grab his nose, and Andy gets very upset if Jack-Jack gets within arms reach so it required a bit of baby wrangling and distraction, but we had a lovely afternoon.

This is a completely different experience from Jack-Jack's placement with us when we had about 40 minutes notice of his arrival - at least with Andy it won't be such a shock for him (or us!) as we have the time to make the transition as smooth as possible.

Names and a new placement

Over the years there seems to have been a general shift in terminology from "foster mum" to "foster carer". People we know from our parents' generation and older regularly refer to us as "foster mums" or even just "mums", and many made a point of texting or calling on Mothers' Day to congratulate us, thinking we'd be celebrating it as our first.

I think the shift is intentional. We're not allowed to encourage the children we foster to call us "mum" or "dad". I've heard of several cases recently where the foster children called their carers "Grandma and Grandad", or even "Auntie and Uncle", but "Mum and Dad" seem to be sacred terms reserved for a child's forever family (so of course in permanent foster placements the child might choose to use those names.) We're using our first names to refer to ourselves with Jack-Jack, but in reality it has meant that we haven't actually referred to ourselves half as much as we would have done. It just doesn't feel as natural to us to refer to ourselves in the third person using our names, it's not like saying things like "it's ok, mama's here," "come to mama" etc. Most of the time we use I, my, me instead, which I'm sure is not delaying his speech and understanding, but it probably is delaying his use of our names (as opposed to how early he might have said "mama") as he doesn't hear them as much. Our names are also not reinforced by others i.e. a stranger in a shop will say something like "you look so much like your mummy," or "I bet you keep your mummy on her toes!" (we get this last one quite a lot.)

The only person to use the word "mummy" in our house so far has been Jack-Jack's social worker asking him how his contact with his mum had gone that day. Everyone else seems to skirt the issue - our social worker, support worker and the health visitor never mention Jack-Jack's mum to him and don't refer to us at all!

One of our neighbours bumped into Esmeralda in town the other day, and, after not recognising her immediately, she suddenly said "Oh you're Jack-Jack's mum!" We don't usually correct comments like that, and hardly any of our neighbours know that we're fostering. Esmeralda and I had a chat about it and we agreed that it might be a bit awkward when a new child arrives or if/when Jack-Jack leaves us, but we don't think it's the right thing to announce our foster family status to all and sundry, especially if/when an older child arrives who might not want everyone to know.

We have some news - we had a call about a short term placement today, and a little boy will be moving in next week and staying for a few weeks whilst his carer is away on holiday. He's a few months older than Jack-Jack and his blog name will be Andy. We're looking forward to meeting him!

Sensory/messy play

My mum was visiting last week and mentioned that she was impressed with the amount of activities we do with Jack-Jack. When I thought about it, I suppose one reason we do so much at home at the moment is that we don't have the option to leave the set-up and clean-up of messy/sensory play to someone else (much as I wish we did sometimes, particularly when I think about painting!) as our local messy/creative/outdoor stay and play sessions don't fit in with Jack-Jack's contact schedule. Plus I enjoy watching his expressions as he investigates and discovers, and he gets very excited when he sees the messy mat and trays come out, so it's win-win.

We don't like to have Cbeebies on too much, and as Jack-Jack's only just turned one his attention span for most toys and activities is well under ten minutes which makes the day feel very long sometimes. I've spent quite a few evenings on various blogs and websites gathering ideas and inspiration for things to keep him (and me!) stimulated and busy.

I'm looking forward to a time when he's stopped putting everything straight into his mouth (he's definitely getting better at exploring with his hands and feet, but everything eventually has to pass the taste test) and we can have messy/sensory fun without it having to be technically edible!

Successes so far have been:

The great outdoors - we go out to a park most days and in most weathers, and Jack-Jack spends time exploring the textures of grass, mud and pavement, and picking up flowers, sticks and stones. He loves it, and requires very little input from me beyond narrating what he's doing, naming plants and animals and heading him off from patches of nettles.
Rice - this was the first time I've actively discouraged Jack-Jack from mouthing whatever he's playing with, and he got rather cross and bit me!
Cornflour and water - this was amazing and kept his attention on and off for about an hour - he kept exploring something else in the garden and then returning to the tray. Clean up was easy too as we were outside - just hose everything off and pop the baby in the bath!
Painting in a ziplock bag - I'll be trying this one again as the paint I used was a bit too sticky for the job.
Water - always a winner in any form - we've done warm/cold, scented, rainwater, bubbles, and the paddling pool.
Popcorn - a bit of a cheat on a rainy day, but foods are textures too and he enjoyed putting his hands in the bowl up to his elbows and watching all the popcorn spill over the sides.
Jelly - Jack-Jack looked absolutely disgusted the first time he touched jelly, but soon realised that digging both hands in and squishing it all over the highchair tray is good fun, and eating it is even better!
Cooked spaghetti - always a hit - the first time he saw cooked spaghetti it made Jack-Jack laugh, and he still loves it.
Ice - this doesn't hold his interest for long yet, but does give me a guaranteed few minutes peace to make tea.
Cotton wool balls and water - We did this today - I was impressed how quickly Jack-Jack realised that after they'd been in the water the cotton could be sucked or squeezed to get the water out again, and did this over and over.

It's definitely nice just having one child to focus on at the moment, as all activities can be aimed at Jack-Jack's skill level and attention span, but I hope that we can carry on doing this when we have two (or three, or four...)

Review: Plum's Little Foodies

The lovely people at Plum have been kind enough to send us their new "Little Foodies" range of toddler meals for 1-3 year olds, to see what Jack-Jack made of them.

Our first impressions were very positive - the packaging is attractive and clearly displays the key ingredients that are in the meals. It reassures parents and carers that they're giving their children the best food choices possible, when perhaps it's not convenient to serve home-cooked. The recipes are organic and are full of exciting flavours.

We were sent the full range, all of which sounded delicious:
Morrocan Tagine with apricot, lamb and bulgar wheat
Jamaican jerk chicken with mango and wholegrain rice
Vegetable biryani with wholegrain rice
Italian ragu with tomato, beef and ditalini pasta

Jack-Jack normally eats the same food as we do, even when out at restaurants, so it's been several months since he was regularly eating pouches of baby food. The exceptions have been when he's been poorly, teething, or if he's very tired - we've found that it's a quick and easy way of getting nutritious food into him without too much effort on his part! We usually keep a couple of toddler steamed meals in the cupboard for these occasions.

We had the perfect opportunity to try one of the Little Foodies meals the day after Jack-Jack's birthday, as we'd had a picnic party in the park out with friends at lunchtime followed by a huge play, so Jack-Jack was ready for his bath and bed at teatime, but had worked up an appetite! I was slightly dubious about trying new flavours, as Jack-Jack has been known to completely refuse to try anything new if he's not in the mood, but I decided to go ahead and chose the Jamaican jerk chicken with mango. The pot was very large (as it would need to be to cover the 1-3yr age range), so I split it into two portions and popped one in the fridge. It smelled amazing - I was a bit jealous!

Jack-Jack likes to look at, have a tiny taste, feel with his fingers and smell his food before committing to eating it, but it seemed to pass the test as he happily ate nearly the whole portion after examining it closely! There were whole peas, beans and pieces of sweetcorn to chew, and plenty of wholegrain rice. He finished off the second portion the following day - as it had been in the fridge for a day we decided to heat it up in the microwave, and Jack-Jack enjoyed it just as much warm as at room temperature.

The clean up afterwards was easy, even though Jack-Jack had managed to spread the remainder all over the high chair tray and up into his eyebrows and hair, and I was pleasantly surprised that there were no orange stains on the high chair, bib or flannel after washing.

Unfortunately the high cost of these meals (RRP £2.25 each) means that we wouldn't be buying them regularly, but we can definitely see a use for them and would consider keeping one or two in the cupboard for the odd occasion.

We were sent the products free of charge for review purposes, but weren't paid for the review, and all opinions are our own.