Monday, 15 July 2013

Only human

During our assessment and training, much emphasis was placed on the fact that children just need "good enough" parents/carers - i.e. that no one is perfect, and "good enough" parenting/caring is fine. We've been approved for getting on for 8 months now, and I still have trouble getting my head around this.

It might be because we're looking after other people's children, but it feels like we hold ourselves to very high standards, and once you've set those standards for yourself (even unconsciously), it can be hard to live up to them. Unlike the vast majority of foster carers we haven't had our own children yet, so we are expected to be "professional parents" before we have even parented, which is a bit daunting when we think about it, although of course we're learning more and more each day. I'm sure that our foster children's parents aren't told that they are our first placements and we've never parented before!

I've been feeling poorly for the last week or so which has meant that my patience and energy levels have been rock bottom, and I've felt very guilty at times that my care of the children hasn't been as good as usual. It's taken several friends and family members telling us that we're doing a good job to remind me that it's ok to feel poorly, it's ok to have a day where the TV is on rather more than we would like, and it's ok to lose your cool occasionally. We're only human!

No comments:

Post a Comment