Peter has had a great Summer and has just gone back to school into year 2. He has put up with a lot of change as one of us has been at the hospital with Russell most of the time, and has thrived with all the challenges that have come his way. He's getting stronger and fitter all the time - he now regularly runs 1km at our local running club, his confidence has increased: this Summer he's tried rock climbing for the first time and has climbed right to the top of the biggest climbing frame at any of our local playgrounds. He's taught himself to read, he's constantly experimenting and enquiring, his speech has improved, he loves imaginative play and he's developing a real sense of humour. He has a keen interest in butterflies so we've been providing him with resources, he can now identify 6 or 7 different species and will spend half an hour at a time sitting in the garden watching all the butterflies visit our buddleja. He's such a little character!
Russell has also started thriving since he became part of our family. When we first met him he was seven months old but like a newborn in terms of his development, except for his utter disinterest in whether anyone was with him or not. He's now 9 months old and about 3-4 months developmentally, but his whole demeanour is different - he's interested in us, wants our attention and is starting to demand it which is great. We've completed our training in his care and do everything for him whilst we're at the hospital. We're hoping to be able to take him on outings soon (accompanied by his ventilator and all his equipment!) and work up to day leave, overnight leave, and then hopefully he can be discharged home by November. We have a lot to prepare at home before he comes, and it will completely change our lives (again!), but we're looking forward to it. He's definitely worth it.
We were really pleased to receive an email from Belle's adoptive family recently, telling us how well she's doing, with some photos from their busy Summer. It's so lovely to see how happy they are and hear about their new life as a family of four, it sounds like Belle is keeping them on their toes and is making loads of progress!
We have more change on the way as we've decided to move house to give Russell a downstairs bedroom, Peter more space to play, and our dogs Lady and Nana a bigger garden to run around in! We're in the process of packing boxes, and since we're moving over county lines we're visiting new schools for Peter too. Our local authority accepts foster carers from neighbouring counties so we don't need to change fostering agencies thankfully.
It's a busy time but we're sure everything will settle down by Christmas... perhaps it will then be time for us to go back on the lists for a third placement!
Showing posts with label school. Show all posts
Showing posts with label school. Show all posts
Wednesday, 9 September 2015
Sunday, 15 February 2015
Privacy
Fostering is definitely not a career to get into if you're a private person. The assessment process is long and intrusive, asking every detail about your life - including very personal matters such as past partners, health issues, IVF journey or miscarriages, reactions to traumatic events or bereavements, finances including any debts or bankruptcy, and if you're in a couple they will even cover your sex life. These are not matters anyone is used to discussing with someone they don't know well, and it can be very uncomfortable. Any skeletons in the closet will be uncovered and laid open, and although your social worker will be sensitive, it can be awkward at times.
You'd think this would be the end of the intrusion, but it's just the beginning!
With two children in placement and space for a third we barely have a week go by without a professional at our house. Our social worker Jane visits every 2-3 months, the children's social workers visit every 6 weeks, we have visits from health visitors, portage, dieticians, speech therapists, independent reviewing officers and court appointed guardians. Any of these can also bring a student at any time!
Contact is an intrusion on family life whether it occurs in the family home or not. We organise our lives around our children's contact sessions and are scrutinised by the birth parents and the contact supervisors on the clothes we send the children in, the car seat we've provided, the snacks we send for them, the information we choose to write in the contact book, even down to the brand of nappies and wipes.
We had a lady from portage come to see Belle recently. She arrived on a day when Peter was unwell and off school, and Peter and I were building a marble run together. The portage lady came into the living room, looked genuinely surprised, and said "oh it's lovely that you take an interest in the children." Excuse me? What on earth was she expecting?
Above all, there is the constant scrutiny and feeling of being judged by everyone - social workers, parents, health visitor, therapists, school, and even random people who know that the child is looked after. For some reason, when a child is looked after people feel that they have a right to comment on their upbringing as part of some sort of shared social responsibility. You wouldn't believe the questions and comments that are said to us with the children standing right there.
The good news is that local authorities have a policy that fostering shouldn't interfere with family life, as a stable family life is exactly what looked after children need. We are allowed to, and have, requested for meetings and contact sessions to be rearranged to fit in with family plans. We have a LAC review for Belle at our house this week and because it's half term, Peter will be present. We've warned everyone that we don't know how he will cope with having his living room full of strangers, and if it looks like it's having a negative effect on him we will end the meeting early and rearrange.
Having a lack of privacy is one thing for us as adults, but we still need to advocate for the children we care for and make sure that being in a fostering family and having our lives open for surveillance is not negatively affecting them.
You'd think this would be the end of the intrusion, but it's just the beginning!
With two children in placement and space for a third we barely have a week go by without a professional at our house. Our social worker Jane visits every 2-3 months, the children's social workers visit every 6 weeks, we have visits from health visitors, portage, dieticians, speech therapists, independent reviewing officers and court appointed guardians. Any of these can also bring a student at any time!
Contact is an intrusion on family life whether it occurs in the family home or not. We organise our lives around our children's contact sessions and are scrutinised by the birth parents and the contact supervisors on the clothes we send the children in, the car seat we've provided, the snacks we send for them, the information we choose to write in the contact book, even down to the brand of nappies and wipes.
We had a lady from portage come to see Belle recently. She arrived on a day when Peter was unwell and off school, and Peter and I were building a marble run together. The portage lady came into the living room, looked genuinely surprised, and said "oh it's lovely that you take an interest in the children." Excuse me? What on earth was she expecting?
Above all, there is the constant scrutiny and feeling of being judged by everyone - social workers, parents, health visitor, therapists, school, and even random people who know that the child is looked after. For some reason, when a child is looked after people feel that they have a right to comment on their upbringing as part of some sort of shared social responsibility. You wouldn't believe the questions and comments that are said to us with the children standing right there.
The good news is that local authorities have a policy that fostering shouldn't interfere with family life, as a stable family life is exactly what looked after children need. We are allowed to, and have, requested for meetings and contact sessions to be rearranged to fit in with family plans. We have a LAC review for Belle at our house this week and because it's half term, Peter will be present. We've warned everyone that we don't know how he will cope with having his living room full of strangers, and if it looks like it's having a negative effect on him we will end the meeting early and rearrange.
Having a lack of privacy is one thing for us as adults, but we still need to advocate for the children we care for and make sure that being in a fostering family and having our lives open for surveillance is not negatively affecting them.
Thursday, 15 January 2015
Powerless
I'd just like to highlight how powerless and overlooked we feel as foster carers sometimes.
Although we live with them 24 hours a day and know them best, we don't have any parental responsibility for our foster children, this is shared between their parents and their social worker. We have what's known as delegated authority, so can make day to day decisions like when they have a haircut (although not a change of style), what they have for dinner, taking them to the doctor or deciding whether they can go on a school trip. We cannot sign consent forms for medical procedures, complete a passport application, change the child's name, take them out of the country without written permission, cancel a contact session with parents (even if the child is unwell - we have been appalled at the reluctance of duty social workers to cancel the contact of vomiting or infectious children) or authorise a change of school.
Peter's school is completely wrong for him and is not meeting his needs. We've known this since before the Summer and have put the relevant wheels in motion, yet we do not have the authority to remove him, nor to look at other schools to find a suitable alternative. The more we get to know him and understand the sources of his anxieties, the more we think that home education would be a good option for him, yet foster children are not allowed to be home educated.
Unfortunately as foster carers, our opinions are often not seen as having the same weight as either parents or professionals, we seem to be in limbo land in the middle. In a meeting with Jack-Jack's social worker, the health visitor was referring questions about his development to the social worker rather than us although the meeting was taking place in our living room with both of us present! We have experienced Peter's school phoning his social worker behind our backs to check up on us, and also assuming that as carers we wouldn't care about him and his achievements in the same way as parents. When he received an award for gymnastics, all the other parents of children in his group were phoned to attend the award assembly; we were not.
We understand that social workers have a full workload and although our foster children are a priority to us, they are one of many to their social worker, and if they are safe and the placement is not at risk of breaking down there are other children and other issues that must jump to the top of the list.
Peter won't be continuing at his school long term, but a decision that would have been made the same day by parents has already taken over 4 months since we first raised concerns, and may not be concluded before the end of the academic year. These frustrating elements of fostering certainly aren't explained during the assessment process!
Although we live with them 24 hours a day and know them best, we don't have any parental responsibility for our foster children, this is shared between their parents and their social worker. We have what's known as delegated authority, so can make day to day decisions like when they have a haircut (although not a change of style), what they have for dinner, taking them to the doctor or deciding whether they can go on a school trip. We cannot sign consent forms for medical procedures, complete a passport application, change the child's name, take them out of the country without written permission, cancel a contact session with parents (even if the child is unwell - we have been appalled at the reluctance of duty social workers to cancel the contact of vomiting or infectious children) or authorise a change of school.
Peter's school is completely wrong for him and is not meeting his needs. We've known this since before the Summer and have put the relevant wheels in motion, yet we do not have the authority to remove him, nor to look at other schools to find a suitable alternative. The more we get to know him and understand the sources of his anxieties, the more we think that home education would be a good option for him, yet foster children are not allowed to be home educated.
Unfortunately as foster carers, our opinions are often not seen as having the same weight as either parents or professionals, we seem to be in limbo land in the middle. In a meeting with Jack-Jack's social worker, the health visitor was referring questions about his development to the social worker rather than us although the meeting was taking place in our living room with both of us present! We have experienced Peter's school phoning his social worker behind our backs to check up on us, and also assuming that as carers we wouldn't care about him and his achievements in the same way as parents. When he received an award for gymnastics, all the other parents of children in his group were phoned to attend the award assembly; we were not.
We understand that social workers have a full workload and although our foster children are a priority to us, they are one of many to their social worker, and if they are safe and the placement is not at risk of breaking down there are other children and other issues that must jump to the top of the list.
Peter won't be continuing at his school long term, but a decision that would have been made the same day by parents has already taken over 4 months since we first raised concerns, and may not be concluded before the end of the academic year. These frustrating elements of fostering certainly aren't explained during the assessment process!
Thursday, 14 August 2014
Raising expectations
We're finding it frustrating that people seem to have such low expectations of Peter. It took months of his teachers saying that he was doing well, settling in beautifully, a lovely member of the class etc. before we found out about some atrocious behaviours that they were dealing with on a daily basis and were able to help them put strategies in place to improve things. We've just had a similar situation as Peter has just finished three weeks of a special needs holiday club - on the last day we discovered that he had been behaving appallingly from the first day, and the play leaders had just let it all slide meaning that his behaviour deteriorated as he continued to push the non-existent boundaries. When we challenged them they were shocked that we don't accept such poor behaviour at home so it rarely happens - they genuinely didn't think Peter was capable of making good choices.
Why is this? Is it because he has autism? Because he's developmentally delayed? Because his speech is immature and his eye contact is minimal with people who aren't close family and friends? Is it because he's a looked-after child?
How do they expect children to learn how to behave if expectations are so low from the start?
Why is this? Is it because he has autism? Because he's developmentally delayed? Because his speech is immature and his eye contact is minimal with people who aren't close family and friends? Is it because he's a looked-after child?
How do they expect children to learn how to behave if expectations are so low from the start?
Thursday, 24 July 2014
Summer update
Amazing to think that we're nearly at the end of the first week of the Summer holidays already! Peter had a wonderful Frozen themed birthday at home playing with our friends and their children. We were impressed that he held it together all day and had great fun, although it did mean that there were a couple of days' fall out afterwards, and we ended up taking all his birthday presents away and drip-feeding them back over the next few weeks as he couldn't cope with all the change at once.
Peter found the last couple of weeks of school hard due to the changes in routine and the constant reminders of transition - saying goodbye to the leavers, having his "moving up" day with his new teacher and classmates for next year, talking about the holidays etc. and his anxiety has been coming out at home in regressed behaviours which haven't yet calmed down.
The holidays are also hard for Peter in different ways. We have lots of lovely fun activities planned as well as down time at home, but we also have high expectations of him in terms of his behaviour, tidying up, finishing tasks and learning to do things for himself. It's nothing he's not capable of, but it's extremely tiring and frustrating for him to listen, focus and stay on task so he's been trying every trick in the book to get out of doing whatever we've asked him to do!
Peter's just started Occupational Therapy and we're learning tips to help him improve his fine motor skills at home. We've come to suspect that school are not placing any demands on Peter or trying to teach him much at all as yet, which is such a shame. He's keen to learn, he just needs someone with him to help him focus. He's made huge progress with his language, but at the end of Reception year he didn't know which end of a Pritt stick was which, no one has attempted to correct his "whole fist" pencil grip, and we've eyed most of the art folder that came home with some suspicion as it looked more like the work of a TA!
Even with all the anxiety and regression, Peter is still doing fantastically. We started very casually potty training at the start of the holidays and he loves all the praise and chocolate buttons although isn't yet able to tell us before he needs to go. It will come. He can get dressed pretty much independently now and is working on being able to put his own shoes on. He's mastered opening and closing screw-top lids and is completing 50 piece puzzles. We're excited to see how much progress he makes by the time school starts again in September!
Peter found the last couple of weeks of school hard due to the changes in routine and the constant reminders of transition - saying goodbye to the leavers, having his "moving up" day with his new teacher and classmates for next year, talking about the holidays etc. and his anxiety has been coming out at home in regressed behaviours which haven't yet calmed down.
The holidays are also hard for Peter in different ways. We have lots of lovely fun activities planned as well as down time at home, but we also have high expectations of him in terms of his behaviour, tidying up, finishing tasks and learning to do things for himself. It's nothing he's not capable of, but it's extremely tiring and frustrating for him to listen, focus and stay on task so he's been trying every trick in the book to get out of doing whatever we've asked him to do!
Peter's just started Occupational Therapy and we're learning tips to help him improve his fine motor skills at home. We've come to suspect that school are not placing any demands on Peter or trying to teach him much at all as yet, which is such a shame. He's keen to learn, he just needs someone with him to help him focus. He's made huge progress with his language, but at the end of Reception year he didn't know which end of a Pritt stick was which, no one has attempted to correct his "whole fist" pencil grip, and we've eyed most of the art folder that came home with some suspicion as it looked more like the work of a TA!
Even with all the anxiety and regression, Peter is still doing fantastically. We started very casually potty training at the start of the holidays and he loves all the praise and chocolate buttons although isn't yet able to tell us before he needs to go. It will come. He can get dressed pretty much independently now and is working on being able to put his own shoes on. He's mastered opening and closing screw-top lids and is completing 50 piece puzzles. We're excited to see how much progress he makes by the time school starts again in September!
Sunday, 11 May 2014
Full of surprises
Peter is amazing us every day at the moment - he seems to have decided to teach himself to read, armed with his weekly ration of Cbeebies, a couple of Vtech talking toys and a shelf full of picture books. He knew all his letters before he moved in with us but we've kept it very low key since then - a few matching games here and there if he showed an interest, but all based on letter names, not sounds. (I clearly hadn't read the "Jolly Phonics" handbook…)
We received a report from school recently that was very positive, detailed and descriptive in all areas of Peter's development, although they seem to think that he only knows the letters that make up his first name and isn't fussed about the rest of the alphabet.
Imagine our surprise when out of the blue a few weeks ago, Peter tips a pot of foam letters into the bath, plucks out c, a and r, sticks them on the side of the bath and says "car". He played it cool after this, but earlier this week followed it up with "weel", after a thoughtful and considered process of sounding the word out phonetically (hence the missing "h", but interesting that he put in a double "e".)
He's also started recognising a bizarre selection of whole words - so far it's been "warning", "sky" and "moo", all out of context so not recited as part of a story or with any clues of particular fonts and colours. It's fascinating!
We've bought some resources to start helping him along, but are taking his lead. As school are finding out, our boy isn't a performing monkey, he's very bright but on his own terms. We're so proud of him!
We received a report from school recently that was very positive, detailed and descriptive in all areas of Peter's development, although they seem to think that he only knows the letters that make up his first name and isn't fussed about the rest of the alphabet.
Imagine our surprise when out of the blue a few weeks ago, Peter tips a pot of foam letters into the bath, plucks out c, a and r, sticks them on the side of the bath and says "car". He played it cool after this, but earlier this week followed it up with "weel", after a thoughtful and considered process of sounding the word out phonetically (hence the missing "h", but interesting that he put in a double "e".)
He's also started recognising a bizarre selection of whole words - so far it's been "warning", "sky" and "moo", all out of context so not recited as part of a story or with any clues of particular fonts and colours. It's fascinating!
We've bought some resources to start helping him along, but are taking his lead. As school are finding out, our boy isn't a performing monkey, he's very bright but on his own terms. We're so proud of him!
Tuesday, 29 April 2014
Easter holidays
We had a fantastic break. We'd planned in an activity for each day of the first week, and then went on a trip away for five days on the coast. Peter loved the beach and paddling in the waves, and even had his first ice cream in a cone! He threw himself into every opportunity that came his way, and it was amazing to see his independence and confidence grow over the fortnight.
He has so much energy and enthusiasm that it's easy to forget that although physically he's nearly five, mentally and emotionally he's about half that. By the Friday before school was due to start again we realised that it was all getting too much for Peter. We reigned it all back in and spent some quality quiet time at home, reading stories, laughing together, doing jigsaws and singing, without any distractions or stimuli like the TV, iPad or visitors. Peter really responded well to the new relaxed routine and we've had a peaceful and easy start to the Summer term.
With all this in mind, we've decided to calm things down around here for the time being. Fewer planned activities, less screen time, going out at when it's less busy, and a focus on family time at home. We've even cut down on Peter's hours in school as we saw how much better he did in the holidays when he was able to nap every day and the effect that had on both keeping his moods regulated and the quality of his night time sleep. We'll be picking him up after lunch and will evaluate how he's doing at half term to see whether we'll continue.
In the spirit of Easter, it's been a wonderful rejuvenating time, and feels like a fresh start for all of us.
He has so much energy and enthusiasm that it's easy to forget that although physically he's nearly five, mentally and emotionally he's about half that. By the Friday before school was due to start again we realised that it was all getting too much for Peter. We reigned it all back in and spent some quality quiet time at home, reading stories, laughing together, doing jigsaws and singing, without any distractions or stimuli like the TV, iPad or visitors. Peter really responded well to the new relaxed routine and we've had a peaceful and easy start to the Summer term.
With all this in mind, we've decided to calm things down around here for the time being. Fewer planned activities, less screen time, going out at when it's less busy, and a focus on family time at home. We've even cut down on Peter's hours in school as we saw how much better he did in the holidays when he was able to nap every day and the effect that had on both keeping his moods regulated and the quality of his night time sleep. We'll be picking him up after lunch and will evaluate how he's doing at half term to see whether we'll continue.
In the spirit of Easter, it's been a wonderful rejuvenating time, and feels like a fresh start for all of us.
Thursday, 10 April 2014
Parents' afternoon
We were invited into Peter's class today to play with the children, see the work they've been doing and have a special tea with them. We've had several meetings with the teachers, but it's the first time we've actually been into the classroom since he started at this school so we were very excited to see all the things he's been doing.
We wondered before we set off how the teacher would refer to parents/carers as a group as we know that Peter's not the only fostered child in the school, and there are other children on special guardianship orders, living with grandparents etc. but as we walked in we heard her say "We have some special visitors today children - your mummies and daddies have come to play!" Whoops!
As it's a special school, the teachers and assistants all use Makaton signing to aid communication for all children, and as Peter is only just starting to sign at home we hadn't appreciated how much they signed at school. Our own signing is limited to a few basic ones picked up from Mr Tumble, so we're got a way to go - it's inspired us to source some training so that we can give Peter some more continuity.
Peter loved having us there and was so excited once he got over the initial confusion as the normal routine had changed, and it was wonderful watching him participate in the singing and dancing with his classmates. We were amazed how involved he was in all the actions and how beautifully he was sitting on his own chair for circle time. He's come so far in a term!
We wondered before we set off how the teacher would refer to parents/carers as a group as we know that Peter's not the only fostered child in the school, and there are other children on special guardianship orders, living with grandparents etc. but as we walked in we heard her say "We have some special visitors today children - your mummies and daddies have come to play!" Whoops!
As it's a special school, the teachers and assistants all use Makaton signing to aid communication for all children, and as Peter is only just starting to sign at home we hadn't appreciated how much they signed at school. Our own signing is limited to a few basic ones picked up from Mr Tumble, so we're got a way to go - it's inspired us to source some training so that we can give Peter some more continuity.
Peter loved having us there and was so excited once he got over the initial confusion as the normal routine had changed, and it was wonderful watching him participate in the singing and dancing with his classmates. We were amazed how involved he was in all the actions and how beautifully he was sitting on his own chair for circle time. He's come so far in a term!
Friday, 14 February 2014
Moving house
Just as we'd made the decision to stay in our current rented home for a few more years to save up a decent mortgage deposit, our landlords dropped the bombshell that they wanted to sell the house. Ah. It was certainly a shock, but has actually worked out really well as we've found a house to rent on the other side of town which has a better layout and more space. We were thrilled to find it and it's perfect for us, but it meant that we were faced with raising the topic of moving with a four year old to whom moving home has been something frightening and traumatic. Peter has moved home twice in the past year: once from his parents' home to his previous foster carers, and then again when he moved to us. Permanency in foster care is supposed to offer the child long-term stability, but of course we can't second-guess when landlords might serve notice!
We've got a couple of weeks to go now, so we've started drip-feeding information to try and prepare Peter for the transition so that he feels as safe and secure as possible. Peter's school have offered their support, so we've taken photos of the new house and sent them into school for them to use when discussing the move with him. We're speaking little and often about the things we're looking forward to doing in the new house, and how we'll be doing them together as a family. We'll involve him in packing items up and unpacking them at the other end, and we'll make sure he sees that it's not just his belongings that are moving this time. One thing we're very excited about is that we're going to cut the number of stairgates down from seven to two when we move (just Peter's bedroom and the top of the stairs in case of nighttime wandering) as Peter's becoming far more trustworthy around the house. We're really proud of him and are amazed at how quickly he's progressing!
Hopefully the message will get through, but even if it doesn't straight away, it might be an unsettling time but Peter will see that we're all still together in the new house and will start to understand that Esmeralda and I are his permanent home, whichever house we're living in.
We've got a couple of weeks to go now, so we've started drip-feeding information to try and prepare Peter for the transition so that he feels as safe and secure as possible. Peter's school have offered their support, so we've taken photos of the new house and sent them into school for them to use when discussing the move with him. We're speaking little and often about the things we're looking forward to doing in the new house, and how we'll be doing them together as a family. We'll involve him in packing items up and unpacking them at the other end, and we'll make sure he sees that it's not just his belongings that are moving this time. One thing we're very excited about is that we're going to cut the number of stairgates down from seven to two when we move (just Peter's bedroom and the top of the stairs in case of nighttime wandering) as Peter's becoming far more trustworthy around the house. We're really proud of him and are amazed at how quickly he's progressing!
Hopefully the message will get through, but even if it doesn't straight away, it might be an unsettling time but Peter will see that we're all still together in the new house and will start to understand that Esmeralda and I are his permanent home, whichever house we're living in.
Friday, 24 January 2014
School and the looked after child
Looked after children (or children in care) are much less likely to achieve academically than children who are not looked after. This can be for a multitude of reasons, for example - lack of early stimulation, several school moves, attachment difficulties, missing a lot of school before they came into care - but in most cases is due at least in part to heightened anxiety levels. A five year old has recently been told that the family finders are looking for an adoptive family for him, a 15 year old living in a children's home is worrying about moving out to live independently when she reaches 16, an eight year old who's just come into care is concerned about whether his drug addicted parents can look after themselves without him, an 11 year old still expects a beating from his foster father after school because he thinks that's what all adults do, a seven year old doesn't yet trust that her foster parents are going to give her enough food every day and hides her school lunch in case she's hungry later, a 10 year old has just found out that his younger siblings are going to be adopted without him…
Put very simply - when a child has such high anxiety levels they are unable to concentrate on school work because it isn't important to them.
There are obviously exceptions, and children in stable long term foster placements are statistically likely to do better than those who move around which is great news for Peter as we're now moving towards permanency for him.
We've been working for the last few months on lowering Peter's anxiety levels by building up trust, and his progress is really clear to see. We love his school, and we're very grateful that he was able to get a place to start this term, but we've definitely seen his anxiety levels rise as he's in a new environment (again) and doesn't know what to expect. He's testing the boundaries and we've been told of several behaviours that would be unacceptable at home but his teachers just laughed about!
I'm sure it can be difficult, especially as it's a school without much experience of looked after children, for the teachers to distinguish between behaviours that are related to Peter's additional needs, typical behaviours for a 4 year old, and those related to his early life experiences and more recent upheaval. It certainly is for us! We just need to try to work together to make sure he's supported so that he can achieve to the best of his ability. He's a bright little boy and we're very proud of him!
Put very simply - when a child has such high anxiety levels they are unable to concentrate on school work because it isn't important to them.
There are obviously exceptions, and children in stable long term foster placements are statistically likely to do better than those who move around which is great news for Peter as we're now moving towards permanency for him.
We've been working for the last few months on lowering Peter's anxiety levels by building up trust, and his progress is really clear to see. We love his school, and we're very grateful that he was able to get a place to start this term, but we've definitely seen his anxiety levels rise as he's in a new environment (again) and doesn't know what to expect. He's testing the boundaries and we've been told of several behaviours that would be unacceptable at home but his teachers just laughed about!
I'm sure it can be difficult, especially as it's a school without much experience of looked after children, for the teachers to distinguish between behaviours that are related to Peter's additional needs, typical behaviours for a 4 year old, and those related to his early life experiences and more recent upheaval. It certainly is for us! We just need to try to work together to make sure he's supported so that he can achieve to the best of his ability. He's a bright little boy and we're very proud of him!
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